Change is often called the only constant. Usually when we say this we are referring to change outside of ourselves. Our jobs, other people, the world, the weather. Just look around and notice all that is different outside.
I want to step away from that kind of change in this writing, however, and take a look at different kinds of change, change within. Change comes with growth and growth is what happens to healthy living things. It is only when we become unhealthy that we stop growing and hence, stop changing.
In this internal change dynamic, there are two primary kinds of change. One is called disruptive change. This is when something has to stop that is hurting me, or you are facing a decision that will have an impact on yourself and others that will have a cost associated with it.
The second kind of change is integrative change. This is a change that is more about, adding things or tweaking things to something that is already moving in a healthy direction, or smaller adjustments are required to go in the direction that change requires.
How do I know what kind of change might be needed in my life? Ask a few questions.
Are there things in my life that, if they dont change, harm is being done to myself or someone else?
Are there situations that you are facing that in order to create a different situation, decisions will have to be made that will be disruptive?
Is your happiness, and fulfillment dependent on taking action in an area that requires significant decisions?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions, the change that is required is disruptive change.
If I am ending another year feeling undervalued and unappreciated at work, it might be time to have an assertive conversation and or start looking for another job.
If I continue to have symptoms that won't go away, maybe it is time to schedule an appointment with the doctor.
If I feel less and less energy and can't seem to stop gaining weight, maybe it is time to make my health a priority.
If I need that drink every night to relax, it might be time to admit an addiction and get treatment.
If I can't sleep and can't cope with all the anxiety or despair that is swirling within, maybe it is time to reach out for help and talk to someone.
If I feel something is missing and I am not fulfilling my potential, maybe it is time to put myself first and start setting boundaries and taking charge of my future.
Integrative change is just as significant and important but different than disruptive change.
Ask yourself these questions to see if integrative change is what you need.
Do you want to add changes to an area that you are already improving and want to take it up a notch?
Are you seeing the signs of wear and tear in some areas of life and recognizing the need for change before things get worse?
Do you have an area of your life that you want to start to work on, and are ready to take small steps to address it?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions the change that is required is integrative change.
If you are a runner and want to begin to do yoga or some other kind of exercise, maybe it is time to add to your overall well-being regimen.
If you are seeing the signs of aging or not taking care of yourself, and dont want it to get worse, maybe it is time to start working on self-care, and taking small steps toward improvement.
If you have always wanted to write that book or learn that instrument, maybe it is time to take the steps toward that desire and add it to your priorities.
Change is inevitable, ultimately we have the power to change, in large leaps ( disruptive changes) or small steps ( integrative change). The key is to accept change as a part of growth which is a part of a healthy life. Whatever kind of change is required, take stock, this is a good time of year to do just that and make a plan. If you need help, reach out to a loved one, or a professional, and start to make the changes that will only lead to your ultimate happiness and fulfillment.
warmly,
tony gilotte
