One thing I have noticed in my work with people, as a coach, mentor, spiritual guide, leader, and teacher, in any and all of these aspects of my work, is this, learning to treat others, the way they want to be treated goes a long way to really being able to make an impact.
It is one thing to treat others the way I want to be treated, this is a significant step toward making an impact for sure, taking into account that some needs and wants are common to humanity.
This is important but does not necessarily give me a key to how to approach you, as you are not me, and likely have different triggers and different desires and needs. So this idea of treating you the way you want to be treated is a path to greater understanding and impact.
How do I do this, I am not you, so how can I know how you like to be treated? Well, I first need to listen to learn, not to respond. When I listen, I need to hear you, not my own voice, and what I think about what you are saying.
You see, most of the time, we listen to respond, so we are thinking about our response instead of what you are actually saying. What people need, however, is to be heard, understood, and known, and for me to offer this, I need to listen to learn.
This means asking questions instead of giving answers, it means digging deeper instead of providing direction, it means using curiosity instead of assumption.
In addition to listening well, I need to be able to hold space for you, this means to be and stay present, to hold you in high regard and care. Holding space does not mean being on time for the meeting, it means to really be here now with me, and invested in my growth.
As I learn about you and hold space with and for you, I am going to start to understand, see patterns, become aware of your challenges and opportunities, and be better positioned to show up in service to you as an effective supportive advocate.
As trust and rapport grows so does my capacity to offer my observations and help you to identify some key insights that seem to emerge in the work we are doing together. This can point to direction for change and aspirations for the future and maybe even paths to get unstuck or move forward.
Now we can partner in this movement and as you do the deeper work of growth and development, I can be a source of validation, acceptance, and support.
We all need this type of mirroring to grow, without it we can miss so much potential. with it, we can grow in ways we never imagined.
If you want to make a difference in the world, and in the lives of others, assuming this is something that is important to you, take this huge step in that direction by working on treating others, the way they want to be treated.
Tony Gilotte
